


i’ve got my mind made up this time

by katewonder



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, First Dates, First Impressions, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, restaurant review
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 00:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4982896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katewonder/pseuds/katewonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a nasty review about her restaurant upsets his best friend, Cullen Rutherford vows to track this reviewer down and fight him. What he doesn't expect to find is Dorian Pavus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i’ve got my mind made up this time

**Skyhold - 2 ½ / 5 stars - Modern Italian**

On Thursday night, following a craving for a good old fashioned Neapolitan Penne alle Cozze, I found myself gracing the presence of the city’s newest wonder, Skyhold. Hidden away, — literally hidden, thank the Maker for Google Maps and decent cell coverage — from the rest of the city, down one too many dark alleys for my liking, Skyhold feels more like a poorly devised topographical shell game and less like the hidden gem I have often heard it described as. The entrance itself is barely distinguishable from the buildings surrounding it, which contrasts with the interior so sharply that I’d advise against taking the elderly to dine to with you lest the shock triggers an ill-timed heart attack. Still, the wait staff — which are easily summoned to your table by shining metallic objects or throwing dollars in their general direction — are vaguely knowledgeable of their possibly too large wine selection and are able to remember at least 70% of their daily specials without cribbing from the notes in their aprons.

Unfortunately, having come all this way for my Penne alle Cozze I was very disappointed to find that nothing of the sort was to be found on their menu. Oh, they had Linguine Pescatore, sure, but I wasn’t feeling that kind of medley, I wanted simplicity, I was chasing those rustic flavours of old world Italy, so I went with the Paccheri Rigati al Sugo d’Anatra instead. Which was, you know, you’d have to go a long way to find someone who couldn’t knock up a duck ragu these days. Did it remind me of my misspent youth down by the canals? No, it didn’t, not in the way a Penne alle Cozze would have. Still, it was serviceable and did not arrive stone cold like I had been fearing. To round out my evening I finished with the Panna Cotta al Miele — the wild honeycomb makes it feel very lux but I couldn’t help but note how unethical it is for them to not be sourcing their honey locally, especially since there are so many quality rooftop apiaries within a kilometer of the establishment.  

For reasons I cannot fathom, nothing on Skyhold’s menu seems to hold tradition sacred, even the Arancini is infused with saffron and served with a spicy rosé sauce, and I mean, why? What was wrong with the traditional palate Italy has blessed us with? As loath as I am to say it, I fear Skyhold’s modern take on Italian is pushing some fusion cuisine boundaries and Maker only knows how that will work out for them. I would be willing to try to dine here again in a few seasons to see how their menu adapts to the change in local produce but otherwise found my experience rather pedestrian.     2 ½ Stars

\--

Cullen had seen Lavellan cry twice in the almost fifteen years that he had known her. Once when her parents had died and the second time was right now as she read the review in The Daily Happenings of her restaurant. She had fallen off some monkey bars in the schoolyard once, broken her arm in three places and hadn’t cried. Yet here she was crying over some dickhead’s opinion in the newspaper.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she said, kind of sniffling as she rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. “This guy’s a dick. He’s harsh on _everyone_. He gave Haven a shit review a few weeks ago, and they’re the best place in town.”

“So he just gives mean reviews?” Cullen asked, wanting to hug her. He would have hugged her if she wouldn’t have bitten him for doing it. “How does he still have a job if he’s just a dick about everything?”

“He’s kind of funny though,” she said, still sniffling. “And it’s not like he says anything that isn’t true. He’s just overly critical.”

“He’s a dick and I’m gonna find him and make him apologise to you,” Cullen said, and she looked up at him, alarmed. “You’ve worked so hard to get this place up and running, and this guy shouldn’t be able to just come in here and ruin that. Make you feel bad about it.”

“I feel like you’re more upset about this than I am,” she said.

“You are _crying_ ,” Cullen said firmly. “This is your honour on the line here.”

“So what, you’re gonna track down this mystery reviewer and fight him?” she asked, and she was smiling again now at least. It was a watery smile but it was there and he’d fight a hundred jerks to make sure she kept happy.

“Yes,” he said.

“Good luck with that,” she said, giggling a little bit. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand again and put the newspaper into the trash where it belonged.

\--

In all honesty, Cullen had thought that it would be harder to find this guy. He had called the paper first, and a receptionist had told him that they weren’t allowed to give out personal information about their employees, so he had called Leliana.

“Hey, you know everyone, don’t you?” he asked, when the phone connected.

“I don’t know _everyone_ ,” she said, which wasn’t a denial.

“Do you know who the restaurant reviewer is at the Happs?”

Leliana laughed, and it felt a little bit more mocking than usual. “Are you going to fight him for Lav’s honour?” she asked.

“Did she call you?” Cullen asked, because he was pretty sure that there was a phone tree between his friends so they could laugh about him and his choices.

“No, no, I just know you very well,” Leliana replied, and it still sounded like she was laughing. “Yes, I do know who the restaurant reviewer is at the Happenings. I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay,” Cullen said, and then she hung up on him. Three days later he had a time, a date and the address of an expensive restaurant along with a message that just read ‘If you ever tell anyone I got you this information I will deny it.” and he figured that was as much assistance as he was going to get from her.

\--

Val Royeaux was a hideously expensive Orlesian restaurant uptown. He had heard of it before, Lavellan had gone to culinary school with their head chef or some such. Apparently the man was completely obnoxious and had only gotten the job because his aunt was the owner.

There was only one man sitting alone in the entire place. He was reading something on his phone and he didn’t look up when Cullen sat down opposite him. “Hey,” he said. “You’re the jerk that writes the restaurant reviews for the paper, aren’t you?”

The man looked up at him, raised an eyebrow. Cullen actually felt his breath hitch because it just so happened that the jerk who had made his best friend cry was hot. All cheekbones and perfect hair, with a moustache that would have looked ridiculous on anyone else but suited him perfectly. Expensive glasses and expensive clothes. The man sighed, dramatically. “Well, you’re certainly the most handsome chef that’s tracked me down,” he said.

“I’m not a chef,” Cullen replied.

“Well then I have no idea what this is about,” the reviewer said.

“My best friend is a chef and you made her cry.”

“Has her business improved?” he asked, and Cullen didn’t know what that had to do with anything. He had no idea about her numbers, all he knew was that Lavellan had cried and it was this guy’s fault.

“You made her cry,” Cullen repeated.

The man sighed again, like this entire conversation was an arduous task. “Let’s talk about this like civilised adults,” he said. “My name is Dorian Pavus, it’s nice to meet you.” He extended his hand over the table, and Cullen looked at it for a second before good manners and Josephine’s voice in his head made him reach across to shake it.

“Cullen Rutherford,” he replied.

“Okay, so,” Dorian said. “I wrote nice reviews once. With my name attached to them. And it was okay, I suppose but that’s not really who I am.”

“Yeah, you’re a jerk,” Cullen said.

Dorian smiled. “Why thank you,” he said. “It is the image I’m going for, after all. Anyway, I wrote a scathing review for a place about three years back and horrifyingly, their business got better. People wanted to know why I hated it, I suppose. Anyway after we realised that, I started doing mean reviews for the places I liked and the places that I actually didn’t like don’t get anything at all.”  

“Excuse me?” Cullen asked, staring at him. “How… how is that…. why?”

“I honestly couldn’t explain it to you,” Dorian said with a smile. “You should eat with me.” he added with a flourish of his hand, gesturing to the table between them. “Just this once, just for tracking me down, I suppose. My treat. Not that I should reward you for tracking me down. A bit stalkerish, I suppose. But let me explain myself to you?”

Cullen looked at him suspiciously. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dorian said, looking down at the menu. “Are you allergic to anything? You have to let me order for you and then let me try whatever you end up with, they are the rules of eating with me.”

“I can’t afford to eat here,” Cullen said. And he couldn’t. Not at over three hundred dollars a meal. Not on his salary.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dorian said, and smiled. “It’s on me. So, which review was your friend?”

“Skyhold,” Cullen said. “My friend, Lavellan, she’s the owner and head chef.” Cullen didn’t tell Dorian about how they had all worked together to make sure she could get through culinary school. Cullen had spent hours moving furniture and painting walls. It was possible that he was taking this personally because he felt like Skyhold was a small part his as well as it was hers.

“Oh, I liked that place,” Dorian said, looking down at the menu, scanning over it. “She’s doing a great job. I was especially harsh, wasn’t I?”

“Lavellan works really hard and you tore all her hard work down,” Cullen said.

“Honestly, my review is probably helping her business,” Dorian said. “How do you feel about seafood?”

Cullen stared at him. “So, you’re justified in saying awful things about people if it helps them?”  

“It’s not justified, no,” Dorian said, with a shrug. “But everyone loves to hate a villain, it helps them out, I get paid.” Cullen opened his mouth but was cut off by Dorian before he could get a word out. “So that’s a no to seafood? How do you feel about game? When was the last time you had a decent squab?”

\--

“Hey, did you go on a date with that jerkface reviewer?” Lavellan asked, looking up from the newspaper when he walked into the kitchen. Her team were working in the background, one of the girls smiled at him and he smiled back before looking back over at where Lavellan was leaning against a bench with the paper.  

“Excuse me?” Cullen asked. Partially because he hadn’t told her he’d found Dorian, hadn’t worked out how to yet. Also because it wasn’t a date. Yeah, they’d eaten dinner together and talked about their lives and stuff but it wasn’t… it had totally been a date, hadn’t it? “How do you know?”

She smiled at him, looked down at the newspaper. “The only pleasant part of the entire evening,” she read, grin spreading across her face as she did so, “was the company that I spent it in. It’s not often that the people I review manage to track me down, let alone their handsome friends, but honestly if they are all as handsome as that man then bring on all potential stalkers. I’m personally hoping that the time we spent together was enough to change his opinion of me. And then he finishes actually ripping into the place.”

“Shit,” Cullen said, and snatched the paper from her, reading over it. Maybe Dorian was talking about someone else. He hoped Dorian was talking about someone else. It wasn’t someone else. It was definitely him that Dorian was talking about. “It wasn’t a date.”

“But you had dinner with him?” Lavellan asked, and she was smiling. Wasn’t angry at least.

“I… yes? No? I suppose so?” he said, shrugging, reading over it again. The words hadn’t changed. He folded the newspaper and put it down on the bench next to her. “I confronted him and we talked. He was working, so he made me sit down so he could explain. I was going to tell you about it. I just… didn’t have my thoughts in order.” He still wasn’t sure he had them in order now.

Lavellan laughed, reached out to pat his shoulder. She looked too entirely pleased by the entire situation. “Did he give you his number?”

“No,” Cullen said, and he hadn’t even realised that he wished that Dorian had given him his number until right this minute. Though, words in a newspaper didn’t mean he wanted to see Cullen again anyway. The man made his living being horrible to people and Cullen wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He was handsome, yes, but also completely obnoxious.

“Call the paper, you know his name now. Call the paper and leave your number and maybe he’ll call you back?” she said. “You do know his name now, right? You didn’t go on a date with a guy and fail to get his name?”

“It wasn’t a date,” Cullen said, handing her back the paper. “And he all but told me that he thinks saying nice things in a review is boring. That’s why he’s so mean, by the way. He knows it actually brings in business.”

“I have kind of been getting busier,” she said, shrugging. “And really I stopped thinking about it like five minutes after I threw it out. Please call him. Was he hot?”

Cullen blushed, and hated himself for blushing, because he wasn’t a teenager anymore. It was ridiculous. “He was obnoxious.”

“Yeah, but he was super hot, wasn’t he?” she said, her grin verging on levels of lechery he hadn’t seen since the night that her and Leliana had gotten very drunk and installed Tinder on his phone before swiping right on absolutely everyone in the area. “You’ve gone all red.”

“Why am I even friends with you?” he asked. “It wasn’t a date. I’m not calling him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I found him.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “I told you not to bother with it anyway, so it’s cool. You got to have dinner with a cute guy, I get to read about this dinner in the Happs and then tease you about it until the day you die. It all balances very nicely.”

“Why are we friends?” Cullen asked again, reaching over to pick the paper up. Get rid of it forever before he could over think the whole situation.

She snatched it from him before he could throw it out. “I’m keeping this forever,” she said, grinning. “I might frame it and put it up in my apartment.”

\--

Cullen knew that the Starbucks was busy but it wasn’t so busy that someone needed to sit down at his table. He looked up, ready to tell whoever it was that he was waiting for a friend and they couldn’t sit there when he came face to face with fucking Dorian Pavus and promptly forgot how to speak.

“Hello,” Dorian said, and smiled. It was a nervous smile, and Cullen was pretty sure the expression on his face was a kind of vague horror so they were a matched pair.

“Hey,” Cullen said, remembering what words were again. “What are you, uh, doing here? Wouldn’t have thought this place made the cut.”

“A man can’t enjoy a caramel macchiato?” Dorian asked, and looked at him, and Cullen was pretty sure that the expression on the other man’s face was the most impressive smirk he had ever seen. It was the moustache that made it, he thought.

“Lavellan found you, didn’t she?” Cullen said, already wording a very strongly worded text message in his mind. And then he was going to interfere with her personal life, just to see how she felt about it.

“Uh, yes,” Dorian said. “If Lavellan is the friend of yours who left almost a dozen messages with the woman at the newspaper who is responsible for all of the columnists, and then when I called her back told me exactly where to find you if I wanted to see you?”

“I’m going to kill her,” Cullen said, and smiled at him. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I didn’t want to see you again.”

“No?” Dorian said, his face falling for a split section. A micro expression of disappointment that vanished almost as quickly as it appeared.

“Well, I did,” Cullen said, resisting the urge to apologise. “Maybe. A little. But… What was the stunt with the paper?”

“I wanted you to find me,” Dorian said, and sipped at his drink. “I felt that was obvious. I knew that you, or someone who knew you read the reviews so… I just felt it was the only way to find you. I mean, I could have hung out at your friend’s restaurant until you came in but that felt like it would take too long. Might not have paid off.”

“What did it all mean though?” Cullen asked, because he had a hunch but it was always better to hear things said in actual words. Not in glances or words written in the newspaper for everyone else in the city to read.

Dorian looked at him for a second like he was studying him. “You told me to be more honest, more kind,” he said. “So I gave it a go.”

“How was that honesty?” Cullen asked, and his eyebrows had skyrocketed up, almost unconsciously.

“It was… a nice review?” Dorian said, shrugging.

“You were only kind about me,” Cullen said.

“You were the only thing worth being kind about,” Dorian said, looking up at Cullen over the frames of his glasses. “I wanted to see you again. I’m not going to regret what I did, and you shouldn't begrudge your friend for letting me know your schedule.”

“I won’t,” Cullen said, actually meaning it, and stared at Dorian’s mouth for probably a second too long. Watched as Dorian took another mouthful of coffee, watched him swallow, traced the line of his neck with his eyes as he swallowed. He was really very handsome, the kind of handsome that Dorian was obviously very aware of from the way he dressed and styled his facial hair and stood. Cullen didn’t know what to do with someone like that, but he found that he kind of wanted to learn. He dragged his eyes back up, found that Dorian was smiling at him. He smiled back, hesitantly.

“Could I take you on a date?” Dorian asked, his voice quiet in the loud environment that was a busy Starbucks at lunchtime.

“I think we’ve already been on one,” Cullen replied, and felt the corner of his mouth tilt up. “I think that technically this might be our second.”

“Oh good,” Dorian said, and leant across the table to kiss him gently against the corner of his mouth, right there in the middle of Starbucks. “Second date means I can kiss you.” Dorian kissed him again, licked into his parted mouth, and he tasted unsurprisingly like caramel and coffee. It was nice and Cullen wanted more, wanted them to be anywhere else than where they were. But they were here, kissing over a table, and it was probably the nicest first kiss that Cullen had ever had.

“You’re going to have to apologise to Lavellan,” Cullen said against Dorian’s mouth as they broke apart. His words brushing against Dorian’s lips. “I can’t date anyone who upset her.” Dorian drew back a little as he reached up to cup Cullen’s cheek in his hands, stroked a thumb over his lower lip, looked at him in a way that Cullen couldn’t even begin to read.

“I already have,” Dorian said, letting go of Cullen’s face, taking another mouthful of coffee. “When we spoke on the phone earlier. But I’ll do it again in front of you if that’s what you want.”

“I do,” Cullen said, and leant in to kiss him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I could not actually spell restaurant until this fic. So, thanks Dragon Age fanfiction for finally helping me learn to spell a word that has always evaded me.
> 
> The review at the very start was actually written by my friend Beck because I had been whining about it for so long that eventually she got all "I will just do it for you". Which just teaches me that if you whine long enough, eventually one of your friends will just swoop in and fix it for you.
> 
> This would not have been finished if not for Beck, Kim and Tegan. Thank you very much, you guys. <3


End file.
